Steps on How to Win a 2016 Republican Nomination:

Step 1. Religion- Express yours much as possible, even if it is all just a sham. Then make clear how you are going to use your specific religion while president to influence the decisions you make for every American... (Being a nation made up of so many different religions and beliefs and most importantly having a separation of church and state.)

Step 2. Refuse any form of science or fact- Especially ones that may disagree with Step 1, no matter how many scientist or experts in their field say otherwise. Simply refuse this because you are paid by, ExxonMobil and others, to do so.

Step 3. Pick someone to blame- This one is probably the easiest for them. For example: Women, African Americans, Mexicans, immigrants, gays, etc. But their all-time favorite scapegoat for causing every problem: "the poor" and of course President Obama.

Step 4. Talk and act like you think these last 7+ years have been some of the worst years in history, thanks to Obama (see Step 3 and Step 2, blaming while ignoring facts)

Step 5. Make clear you are ready to solve any foreign policy issue with immediate military action and war over peaceful alternatives.

Step 6. Call yourself conservative for wanting to save money by cutting Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid, and other important programs, while giving tax cuts to the rich. Then want to increase our, already absurd military spending, which we are spending more than the next 10 countries combined, by billions/ trillions of dollars. (Just in case we need Step 5.)

Step 7. Claim all government involvement is wrong, unless it is telling women what they can do with their bodies or people who they can love. Also, claim to be a strict constitutionalist, but only when they believe it benefits them.

Step 8.* Lie, a lot. (Seen mostly in both parties)

Step 9. Lose the 2016 presidential race to a Democrat.